#22: My Second Weigh-In

Alright.  Let me be as honest as I can with you in this moment.  I was really disappointed in the results of today’s weigh in.  I though I had prepared myself over the past few weeks to deal with it, but that was not immediately the case.  I met my weight loss goal for the week, but I felt like I should have done better.

Maybe that’s the competitor in me.  I have a high expectation of myself.  So somwhere in my mind, I have convinced myself that 2lbs. a week is normal healthy weight loss for the average individual.  Problem is, in my mind…at this moment…I don’t see myself as average.  Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t realize I had one heck of an ego to go with the bright eyes and witty demeanor?  Yes, I do.   I keep things in perspective 99% of the time, but there’s that 1% that slips out ever so often.

That can be a good thing though.  It’s kind of like the child who is frustrated because they can’t keep up with the older kids.  Little does that child realize that he/she will one day get their turn.  So that’s how I look at it.  There will be week where I may even gain weight.  I’m working to accept that.  There are moments when I eat things that I know I shouldn’t.  I’m working to accept that as well.  I remember a professor from my counseling program (did I mention I have an M.A. in Counseling and I used to be a therapist?)  once said in class, “it’s o.k. to be good enough!”  That message stays with me and it helps to ease the pressure I put on myself.  As I mention across several videos, I didn’t gain the weight in a day, and in a day, I will not lose it.

What also comes to mind when I watch Episode #22, it that I mentioned fixing something to eat after I was clearly disappointed.  RED FLAG LOU RILEY!  Now I will say that I actually did pick up some fresh shrimp from the seafood market and mixed it with some veggies in a wok.  Normally, I’d find something a bit more pleasing and a bit more chocolaty to sooth my shattered spirit !  Don’t worry.  It’s just one weigh in and I am moving in the right direction.  I’m not mad at a little progress because it definitely beats having none!

Dreams Mean Work!